#180

Five days ago, my seven year old came running into my room at 6:20 in the morning, saying “Mommy, mommy, today is your half birthday!”

My first thought was, oh my God child, are you ever going to let me sleep until the alarm goes off?  (Spoiler alert, I sincerely doubt it).  My second thought was, oh my God, I only have six more months in my twenties.  Where has my life gone?

I had an idea where I would be when I turned thirty.  Married with 2.5 kids, a dog and a minivan.  In a career that I love, with plenty of room for advancement.  Running marathons, meal planning and being an interior design genius.  I guess life doesn’t turn out the way that you plan.

Instead, I am a single mother with no romantic prospects, let alone a life partner.  I am waiting tables and bartending to make ends meet and attempting every semester to go back to college to get my degree, which more often than not does not work out for me.  I am struggling with several chronic illnesses, both physical and mental.  I don’t work out at all, let alone run marathons.  I am still in a rented apartment, so no room for decorating.

Enough is enough.

Do I think that I will be able to make up for all my dreams in the next 180 days?  Of course not.  I am not insane.  (Okay, maybe a little bit).  However, I am ready to start making some real changes in my life so that when thirty comes, I will be able to be proud of who I am, and how far I have come from the moment that I realized that things needed to change.

I have already started making some of the changes that I know need to be made.  My chronic migraines cause me to take a lot of pain medicine, which I know is bad for my kidneys and liver.  The fact that I used to drink 5 to 7 sodas a day did not help that fact.  It is a wonder that I have never had kidney stones or a kidney infection.  Three weeks ago, I started a self-imposed 21 Day Soda Cleanse.  I drank nothing but water (and A LOT of it) for three weeks.  My self-imposed sentence was up on Sunday night and I still have not had a soda.  I am trying to break myself from wanting one.  I don’t smoke and very rarely do I drink alcohol, but sodas were my vice.  I do not want to be addicted to them anymore.

I am taking a journey.  A journey to adulthood.  To being the woman that I want to be.  It may seem silly, but I am so proud of what I have done so far and I am so excited to see where this journey leads me.

Until next time babes!

Kisses, the Southern Jezebelle