I had a blind date last night. Some friends of mine from an old bar that I used to work at called me last week and the conversation went something like this:
Her: Corie, there is this new guy who works here. His name is Jake and he is like, totally perfect for you. And you’ve been single for too long, so I am giving him your number.
Me: Don’t give him my number.
Her: Too late.
So he started texting me and we have been texting and sending each other snaps for about a week now.
Well, he asked me if I wanted to go out on Friday last Sunday and I said I did and found a sitter for my son. Every single day since then, he has texted me, “so we are still on for Friday, right?” I thought that he was really interested and excited.
He never showed.
I waited in the bar we were supposed to meet at for an hour and a half and he never showed. Thank goodness I had some friends there but still, it made me feel like a lowlife loser, just sitting in a bar, waiting on a man. When I still hadn’t heard from him by about 9:45, I decided that I was just going to go home and watch the new season of Orange Is The New Black. As I was walking back to my car, I ran into my friend Thomas and his girlfriend Chelsea. The conversation went as follows:
Him: Hey, what are you doing?
Me: I was just heading home. I was supposed to be on a date but he never showed up. So now I am going to go back home and binge watch OITNB.
Her: Nope. No you’re not. We are going to see Wonder Woman. You are coming with us.
Me: Thanks, but I do not want to crash your date.
Her: That was not a request. You are not going home to sit in the dark and be sad all alone. You are coming with us. Get in the car and meet us there.
So I did and what started out as a crappy night, turned into a really good night. I got to see a badass woman kick some major butt on the big screen and when it was done, I felt better. Not 100% but definitely not as low and loserish as I did when I walked out of that bar.
Thank you Diana. The world of man does not deserve you, but it is not about what we deserve, it’s about doing what you believe in. And I, like you, still believe in love.
Kisses, the Southern Jezebelle
There is a girl at work that I have major issues with. She asked me who I slept with to get my bartender position. She called me a bitch in front of one of my trainees. She tried to get me in trouble for my shoes for goodness sakes. (Black leather cowboy boots with a no-slip sole, in case you’re wondering.)
Long story short, she has an attitude and I dread working with her.
Yesterday, I had to work a twelve hour double. My morning shift was a regular serving shift and my night shift was behind the bar, covering for my bar manager whose daughter was graduating from preschool that night. This girl was working that whole day as well and I had to deal with her all day.
She made snide comments about me not wearing gloves behind the bar. (I don’t touch the liquor that gets poured into drinks, so I am not sure why someone who has never been trained as a bartender would even care, but that is another story.) She yelled at me in front of my bar guests for not running my food because I was making drinks for other servers. She kept calling me Princess because she said she felt like I got away with doing nothing just because I am a bartender. I wanted to punch her.
I smiled. I ignored her. I didn’t stoop to her level. I didn’t let her bitchiness put me in a bad mood. I was already feeling rough (I’m getting too damn old to be working doubles, even if it is for a good cause) and I just wanted to make it through my shifts and make some money in the process.
Is this growing up? Is focusing on myself and my guests instead of the petty drama part of being an adult? I remember a time when I would have confronted her. I would have completely melted down and been a wreck for my whole shift because she was being mean to me. I just don’t have the energy for that anymore. All I want to do is my job and make some money.
176 days to 30. I think I am finally starting to get a handle on this adult stuff.
Kisses, the Southern Jezebelle
Five days ago, my seven year old came running into my room at 6:20 in the morning, saying “Mommy, mommy, today is your half birthday!”
My first thought was, oh my God child, are you ever going to let me sleep until the alarm goes off? (Spoiler alert, I sincerely doubt it). My second thought was, oh my God, I only have six more months in my twenties. Where has my life gone?
I had an idea where I would be when I turned thirty. Married with 2.5 kids, a dog and a minivan. In a career that I love, with plenty of room for advancement. Running marathons, meal planning and being an interior design genius. I guess life doesn’t turn out the way that you plan.
Instead, I am a single mother with no romantic prospects, let alone a life partner. I am waiting tables and bartending to make ends meet and attempting every semester to go back to college to get my degree, which more often than not does not work out for me. I am struggling with several chronic illnesses, both physical and mental. I don’t work out at all, let alone run marathons. I am still in a rented apartment, so no room for decorating.
Enough is enough.
Do I think that I will be able to make up for all my dreams in the next 180 days? Of course not. I am not insane. (Okay, maybe a little bit). However, I am ready to start making some real changes in my life so that when thirty comes, I will be able to be proud of who I am, and how far I have come from the moment that I realized that things needed to change.
I have already started making some of the changes that I know need to be made. My chronic migraines cause me to take a lot of pain medicine, which I know is bad for my kidneys and liver. The fact that I used to drink 5 to 7 sodas a day did not help that fact. It is a wonder that I have never had kidney stones or a kidney infection. Three weeks ago, I started a self-imposed 21 Day Soda Cleanse. I drank nothing but water (and A LOT of it) for three weeks. My self-imposed sentence was up on Sunday night and I still have not had a soda. I am trying to break myself from wanting one. I don’t smoke and very rarely do I drink alcohol, but sodas were my vice. I do not want to be addicted to them anymore.
I am taking a journey. A journey to adulthood. To being the woman that I want to be. It may seem silly, but I am so proud of what I have done so far and I am so excited to see where this journey leads me.
Until next time babes!
Kisses, the Southern Jezebelle